My last post made me think.  I haven’t ever really hashed out my and Andrea’s story… from my point of view of course. 

The last post could technically be part one. So this is part two.

January 23rd.  Day after my birthday.  It’s late.  I had just gotten home from being arrested for my 2nd DUI.  I wasn’t really home, because 10 days previous I had been evicted, among other things.  My dad was staying at an extended stay hotel, instead of crashing in a bathroom again, I went to his hotel and crashed on a couch.  His laptop was out, so I got on and logged on to Myspace. (remember that?) 

I saw that Andrea was online.  Previously we had never spoken on Myspace.  Just at the bar, (and that one time at Church)  I messaged her.  I said, “Man you’re up late.” or something like that. 

She replied rather quickly, and that was awesome.  So it began.  We became friends.  We continued to talk, where she informed me that she was supposed to be at my surprise birthday party, but it got called off because I was in jail.  (*sigh*).  So, I immediately began to message her every day.  I remember I went over to her apartment one night for a movie/pajama night.  I don’t remember how that night went, and if I remember quickly, she had another boy over.  (Though I could be completely wrong)  I think we watched “Dazed and Confused”. 

The innocent talking went on for a week or so.  At this point, I had moved into a house with my dad and my brother.  It was close enough to a steakhouse that I could walk, so I got a job there.  Originally serving tables, but with the second DUI, I was unable to serve, so I moved to the kitchen.  Before I left for work one morning, I asked Andrea if she wanted to come out and celebrate my sister’s birthday.  It was February 2nd.  That night, we went out, and I had a few drinks.  I also, at this point had been clean off of drugs for a little under a month.  I was shakey, so the only way to calm the nerves was alcohol. 

That night was Karaoke night at a local bar.  We were all singing and having a good time.  All of her friends were up on stage singing, “Goodbye Earl”, we were talking and she leaned in and kissed me.  (To this day, she’ll tell you I kissed her. That’s a lie.)  She immediately looked deeply in to my eyes, and gently said, “If you tell ANYONE that just happened, I’ll kill you.”  (How romantic)  So, when “Goodbye Earl” was over, I ran to her friends and said, “I JUST MADE OUT WITH ANDREA.”   yah.  didn’t go over well. 

That night she dropped me off at my house, got out of the car, and we walked to my door.  To say it was awkward would be an understatement.  I went to hug her goodbye and went in for the kiss.  First, I kissed her nose completely on accident.  I figured, oh well, that was completely accidental.  So, I tried again.  She pulled her head away and smiled… at this point, my eyes are closed, and I’m essentially licking her teeth.  She laughed it off, and said she’d call me later.

I went inside feeling like a complete jackass, honestly thinking I’d never have a chance with her again.

So that was the story of our first kiss.  I have WAY more stories to go.  Join me as I remember our story.

My wife knows better than anyone.  I can be the nicest person in the world.  I can also be the meanest, pitbull-esque person on earth.  It’s easy to be negative.  I think that’s why it’s so easy for me to slip back to that place.  It’s easy for me to get mad, hold grudges, stay angry, pick on people.

It’s hard for me to admit that I hold them.  It’s hard for me to confess the plank in my eye.  It’s hard for me to say things like, “you’re right.” or “I’m sorry.” 

I struggle with it daily.  But, I am making the effort to say those things.  I am making an effort to apologize for things I’ve done wrong.  I am working on improving my temper, and in turn my relationships one at a time.

I do not want to sit here and make ‘goals for 2010′.  That’s not my bag.  I do want to say though, that life is a continuous effort, and my effort is going to be focusing on love.  Focusing on sharing that love with anyone I come in contact with.  My effort is to be the husband, father, friend, stranger that people look at and strive to be like.  My effort is to be Love. 

Happy new years folks.  Don’t make resolutions.  Don’t make goals.  Be the change you want to see in others.

The rumor mill is running overtime.  There’s talk of a guy named Tiger Woods.  Perhaps you’ve heard the stories.  The ‘rumor’ is he’s been having affairs with, well, just about everyone.  I’m pretty sure Cleopatra just came forward from the dead.

People keep saying, “Is this our business?”  I have two answers for that.  Yes and no.  It’s that easy.  Is it fair that the entire world is obsessed with what you’re doing?  No.  Did you mind it when you were the first black man to win the Masters?  No.

“But he didn’t choose to be a role model! America forced this on him!”

I beg to differ.  I bet Rolex, Gatorade, Nike, AT&T, Accenture, American Express, General Mills and Gillette beg to differ too.

The man’s made billions of dollars to be a ‘Role Model’. Sure, his athletic ability made him marketable, but the fact that he was a likable person that people could look up to and aspire to be is what signed his check.  I guarantee it.

The last thing I want to say about this is:

Forgiveness.  This man is forgiven.  I want you all to remember that.  God has already forgotten it.  I assume that’s why God doesn’t work for the paparazzi.  It’s over.  It’s done with.  Forgiven. My prayer is that the people can do the same thing.  Pray for Tiger.  Pray for his family.  Pray for his children.  Pray that he is confronted by God so heavily that he falls on his face.  Not in a bad way, in a good way.  Pray that he falls on his face in repentance.  Pray that he is forever changed by Jesus Christ!  I was. You were.  He will be too!

Pray for these girls that he’s been sleeping with.  Ranging from actresses, to porn stars to servers, they all need your prayers as well.

We are all dirty, no good, flat on our face worthless sinners.  Jesus was beaten, bloodied, spit on, mocked, denied and killed because he knew that we would screw up.  Because he knew Tiger would do this.  He knew we would all be this foolish.  He knew we wouldn’t want to pray for Tiger, and he knew that you would do that thing you did. Just remember he’s human as well.

Thoughts?

4 weeks ago, I almost wrote a post about our Father’s love.  I was gonna write about how I know I could never wrap my head around His love, but how I thought I pretty much got the idea.

I’m not going to write that now.  When I saw Gemma for the first time… I can’t even describe the feeling.  Still, to this day, every time I look at Gemma, my eyes swell up, and I can’t believe how much I love that little girl.  It’s the most surreal feeling I’ve ever felt in my entire life!

Two days after Gemma was born, a doctor came in and asked us if they could give her a lumbar puncture to test for meningitis.  That hurt like I can’t even describe.  Parents out there, I am sure understand the feeling.  I got to thinking about it, and I realized…. God gave His only son for us.  Not to get a lumbar puncture, but to be beaten, spit on, stabbed, and then nailed to a cross!!!

I can honestly say, I don’t think I could do that.  Heck, I could hardly approve a lumbar puncture, which would make sure she was healthy!

I’m writing this to say… I was wrong.  I cannot, and will never be able to understand God’s love.  There was a minute where I thought I may be able to wrap my head around it.  I can’t.  What an amazing week!  What an amazing God!

Times are tight.  It’s no secret for anyone.  Money is harder to come by, and when you come by it, you have to work twice as hard to get it.  Everyone knows that nowadays.

When I was in my early 20′s. (Words I never thought I’d say) I was a bar manager.  What that meant was I got paid 800 dollars base every week.  I also got to take 4 bar shifts of my choice. What that means is I was making an additional 500-800 dollars depending on the week.   Do the math.  It was a good amount of money.  I’m not saying I was rich, but what I am saying is I had money.  Now, what I was spending that money on is something different.  I was spending that money to fill a void.  I spent it to feel accepted.  I spent it (at least 100 dollars a day) to get high/drunk.

Now.  I work as an IT professional.  I’m not going to say my salary, because I’ll probably get laughed off of the interwebs, and we don’t want that.  I have money, but it’s tight.  But what else I have is incomparable. I have a wife who loves me, a strong support from friends and a little baby girl on the way.  I have a found love from Jesus Christ, who died for everything I did when I was at the bar.  And last but not least, I have peace.  Peace.

So, as I sit here convicted, constantly stressing about my bank account and how much money goes into it versus how much comes out, I am reminded by my Savior and Lover of my soul, I am rich in so many other things that money doesn’t really matter.

AND: If I sit around all day long and obsess over money, and argue about money, and cry about money, and pray about money, and think about money, and think of ways to get money and, did I say cry about money?  I might just miss a second to tell my wife I love her, to imagine what my daughter is gonna look like in 15 years, what I’m gonna tell her the first time a boy breaks up with her, what I’m gonna tell that boy the first time she introduces me to him, what an amazing love I’ve found in Jesus, to pray for friends safety (and/or recovery) to pray for my wife’s healthy pregnancy and to just give God all the praise and glory I can.

Amen.