Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
Col 4:5

My buddy Adam sent that to me the other day, and said that it made him think of me.  I’m not sure why, because I certainly do not live by this, though, I probably need to.  Maybe that’s why he thought about me.

That sentence is pretty incredible, and again, is a bold order.  The part that gets me the most is “make the most of every opportunity.”

When I read that, I first thought, “Well, I do that.  I try for every promotion at work, when I see the chance to make extra money, I do it. If I see a chance to move ahead, I look into it. Heck! I even have been known to use a coupon from time to time.” That’s opportunity to me.  Typically, when we think of the word opportunity, we think work, wealth, greed….. The American Dream.

Unfortunately, I don’t think that is what Paul was trying to say. I do not think Paul was saying, “Watch how you act towards someone different from you, and always try for that promotion, and always try to make or save money when you get the chance, and ALWAYS worry about money.”

It made me realize that every second is an opportunity. Not an opportunity to get rich.  Not an opportunity to get famous.  Not an opportunity to be popular.  An opportunity to Love.  An opportunity to allow Christ’s love to shine through me.  See, people observe.  They see how I react, they see how the world is.  That’s why people are so darn bitter these days.  When people see something that is literally out of this world, they recognize it.  They will wonder what’s different.

Maybe for you, it’s not shouting, “Hey F#(* You Buddy!” when someone cuts you off.

Maybe for you, it’s not punching a wall when you’re upset.

Maybe for you, it’s smiling and saying ‘good morning’ to the person who hasn’t had their coffee.

Maybe, it’s simply not complaining about stuff.

Maybe, it’s that dime in your pocket that that dude (who you think should get off his ass and find a job) desperately needs.

Maybe it’s just a hug, to the girl, who just did something so horrible that you (and she) disagree(d) with so much, who needs your love more than she ever has before.

I could go on forever… But, what I’ve realized is that, at any given second, someone could be watching me.  At any given minute, someone could notice something unique about me.  Any given day, someone could see a living and walking Christ, for the first time, in me!

Or.  Someone could realize that this world actually IS crap, just like they thought before they watched me.

Opportunity is knocking, this time…. I’m answering.

I’ve been really focused on me.  The heavy stuff on my heart.  Can I just say that being a husband and father is the most amazing thing in the world!?

I have a scar on my stomach. It’s a scar that dates itself 4 and a half years. Every morning when I’m looking in the mirror, I see that scar and my mind is flooded with memories.

See. The day I was stabbed was the beginning of an end. Within that 24 hour period I was fired, evicted and stabbed. As I look at this scar, I remember the day my life changed forever.

That was the day I looked in the mirror at a cut up face, a stab wound and a meth addict. That was the day I was met with a real life dilemma. I needed to quit using, or end up dead. I hated my life, so it wasn’t as easy a decision as it sounds.

That night, I slept in a gas station bathroom in the dead of winter. I laid there fighting with myself. Freezing, lost and broken, I suddenly felt the strength that I needed. I knew, at that moment, I was going to live, and that I needed to sober up to do this.  I knew I had the strength to do so.

I was scared, nervous, broken and excited all at once. Looking back, there is NO mistaking that strength came from God. He first loved me. He saved me. He heard my struggles that night, and knew what I needed.

When I look at this scar, I’m reminded of the struggles i’ve overcome, and I’m reminded of His redemption.  I’m reminded that I can never do it alone.  I’m reminded that even in the darkest of days, He was there, looking after me.

I look at my stomach, I see more than a scar, I see healing.  I see redemption. I see a second chance.  I see love.  This scar will probably never go away, and I’m ok with that.

So, I say all of this to really say, embrace your scars.  They have made you you.  You are who are you are today because of scars, because of pain and because of love.  Do you have scars that you resent?  Do you have scars you want to disappear?  Think twice about that.  Without those scars you may not be the wounded healer Jesus wants you to be.

Everything seemed to be going fine.  Andrea and I were helping lead youth group at our church, I was heading up the tech booth, and aside from the occasional fight, we were good.  I mean… I thought we were good.

I hadn’t had a drink in several years.  I don’t remember the circumstances now, but somehow I had convinced myself and Andrea that having a beer or two was something I could definitely handle.  So, we went to the bar across the street from her apartment, and I had a beer.  (Or two.)  The next night, we went to the bar across the street from her apartment and I had a beer. (or two)  (Ok. Maybe 3 this time)

I don’t believe I was drinking every night, but for the most part, I was just having a couple of beers, so everything was cool.  As time progressed, when we were drinking, I was having a little bit more and a little bit more.  It got to the point where if I could, I would drink until I was sick.  Honestly, I didn’t think anything of it.  It was just ‘one of those nights.’  you know?  There were a few instances where I would get mad at Andrea when she tried to talk to me about drinking, or worse, ask me not to.  We got into an argument one night, and when she dropped me off at home, I went in, and instead of calling her to smooth it over, I passed out.  To this day, I wish to God I had picked up the phone and called her.

One afternoon, Andrea and I went out to “On the Border” with a friend of hers.  We ate.  Actually, I remember that day well, because I ordered a build your own burrito, but didn’t think that each item costed extra, so I built the worlds most expensive burrito.  Afterwards, her friend had to hit the road, but Andrea wanted to go across the street to Starbucks.

We got our drinks, went outside to sit, and then I realized something was wrong.  She didn’t go into much details-or I was just stunned and don’t remember, but the net/net was that she was breaking up with me.  My stomach went into a knot, which must have made room for my heart, because it dropped about 4 inches.  ”How could this happen?  We’re so happy.  Sure, I have some issues, you have some issues, but we’re perfect.” I said to myself.  Outloud however I said something along the lines of, “Ok.  Can you take me home?”

It didn’t really hit me until that night.  The next day, it hit me even harder.  Things went down hill quickly.  You know, when one second you feel like you have complete control of everything, and then the next second you only have control of a few things…. how you start to just…. try to control anything and everything you can?

It was going to be a tough time indeed….

It’s coming up on Easter.  Andrea and I are talking more often and her heart seems to be softening a little bit.  Her fear of commitment is still there, and honestly my hunger for commitment is to cover up deeper seeded scars I’m afraid to confront.

One night I’m laying in bed, and I felt something overcome me.   Out of no where, I started to feel weak, broken, worthless.  I was Asking Andrea about her God, and she talked to me about Him.  Not the, “Accept or Perish” I was so used to hearing, but the relational side of Christ.

I broke down.  I said something to the affect that God could never love me, I’m worthless.  I’ve done things that can never been forgiven.  I’ve seen things that should never be seen. I was pretty much convinced I was going to hell.

Andrea quickly replied by telling me about the disciples, and what they had done before they met Christ.  I was in awe.  I couldn’t believe it!

The next day she invited me to her Wednesday night service.  I believe this was Ash Wednesday. Chris Seay was the guest speaker.  It was amazing.  It was actually really awesome.  It hit my heart pretty hard.  Of course, Sunday I was invited to Easter service and I went.  I was nervous about meeting Andrea’s family.  We went out to lunch afterwards and her family was really nice.  I felt at home.

about a week later, I accepted Christ in to my heart.

Andrea and I were still just ‘friends’, but I could feel we were growing closer.  We spent more time together, and I was starting to learn her heart, know her thoughts.  I was starting to love her with all of my heart.

I don’t know if she will admit it today, but I think she was falling for me too.

To be continued…..