Today would be my older sister’s (Adrienne Lee McMahon) 27th Birthday. So.. I felt this was appropriate for my repost this week.

When asked,”what makes a person?” Most people might say, what they believe, what they’ve done, what they stand for, what they’ve seen, or maybe even, what they haven’t done. I don’t think that’s it at all. What makes a person, to me? Who they love.

Tons of people have seen the world, Christopher Columbus discovered a new world, traveled around the world, and saw just about the entire world. Still, ended up spending a good portion of his life jailed for embezzlement. In the end, who was he really? Just another person.

Galileo. The first to argue that the earth does in fact does revolve around the sun. He believed that with all of his heart. In the long run, he was also jailed, and eventually forced to take back his beliefs. Maybe now, he is well respected, but in the end, he died, jailed, lonely. Who was he really? Just another person.

You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about Jesus Christ lately. He also spend his last days jailed, not with “holy men”, but among sinners. In a cell, staring at a wall, by one of his own. He still loved everyone. With all of his heart, he loved everyone.

As a matter of fact, one of the last things he did on this planet was invite a prisoner to walk with him in the kingdom of Heaven. At a time, when many men have spit on him, hit him, and turned their back on him, Jesus still loved them. Still loved us. Jesus loved that prisoner, as much as he loved anyone. Jesus knew, it takes a lot to love a sinner, but the sinner, needs it the most.

See some people spend their entire lives trying to change the world. Trying to come up with new theories, methods or beliefs. Not me. The world’s been changed enough. I take that back, the worlds been changed too much. If people spent as much time loving as they spend trying to change the world, or prove things wrong, this world would closer to the place it once was. Jesus had the right idea. Why is it so hard to follow? You’d think it’d be easy, but it’s not. It’s something we all struggle with.

Love should be what makes the world go round, not money, success, theories, inventions, or hate. I know it sounds obvious but, is it?

When I think of the word surrender, I automatically picture a white flag. Normally being waved by a coward, in a foxhole or hiding behind something, because everything around him is collapsing and most everyone he knows has left or been taken from him. Only when I picture this, do I realize the power of the Word.
At first I thought surrendering to God is something I only have to do once, you know, just a one time thing. Now I know I was wrong. Initially, the surrender is easy, accepting Jesus as your savior, inviting him into your life, and confessing you are helpless with out Him. So the story goes.

When I try to explore deeper into my faith, it seems I have to surrender every time I turn around. I find an endless list of imperfections and flaws in myself, that I can’t look past without surrendering more to Jesus. I suppose it is because I am stubborn and prideful, and I can only let go a little at a time. My human imperfections blind me of just that, my imperfections.

Admitting defeat, (each time I have to) glorifies the Lord, renewing, and strengthening the true awesomeness of his love, power and forgiveness. So, although I might be weak, I may be a coward, daily I will wave my white flag. My flag not only shows my weakness, but also glorifies the Lord.

I am no longer afraid to be powerless, and to wave my flag. I invite you, young or old, new Christian or a “life long veteran”, black or white, male or female, to wave your white flag with me. What a beautiful way to glorify our Father!

So,  I do think Sunday should be “Sabbath”.  More importantly, my Fiance thinks so too.  But, I also think it may be a day people are sitting at home, clicking around on the internet, trying to find something to read.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Who knows.

Anyway, I have come up with a solution.  I still have my old blog posted and I was going through it.  I realized a few things.  I am a horrible writer and, I can repost these, and a lot of people may not have read them before.  They are of a different style.. more devotional type.  So. Sunday devotional, or Repost Sunday.  Whatever you want to call it.  Anyway.  I started at the beginning of my blog, and pulled out the ones that I think don’t suck too bad.

Come check it out this Sunday. (Or Monday, if you are a “No Internet Sunday” Family)  I hope these blogs are thought provoking, and initiate some comments.  Ahh. Heck. I’ll post one of my old blogs right now.. so you get an idea…

I’m a Failure (repost from 06/04/07)

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” I guess that also means the only man who never fails is the man who never does anything. I have been faced with the fear of failure a lot this week. Wednesday was my official “quit date”. Yes. I am quitting smoking again. Seeing as how I used the word “again”, you can see that this is something that I have failed at quite often. In the midst of quitting, I was confronted with a problem at work. One I have never dealt with before. If I failed at this problem, it wasn’t just my pride, it was my job.

I have failed tons of times before. And before each time, there was a fear that I was going to fail. I have succeeded many times as well. And before each time, there was a fear that I was going to fail. Basically, no matter what I do; somewhere in the back of my head, I’m afraid I will fail.

Everybody fears. Everybody fails. You can’t judge a person by there failures, because, you will always be disappointed. Whenever you have a goal, there is a chance you will fail. But believe me, if used right, that failure could make you stronger than you could ever imagine. Look at Paul.

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 3: 12-14

Paul is awesome. He wrote that from jail. He had been sent on his last mission from Jesus, before his ascension to Heaven. His mission was to witness Jesus in Rome, to bring his Gospel to the end of the earth. That is where he was arrested. So, while he was writing this letter to the Philippians, most would say he failed. How well can you spread the word from house arrest or prison cells? It didn’t stop Paul. He knew that if he gave up, there was no possible way he could succeed in Jesus’ mission. So he conducted his ministry as best he could in chains and shackles. How awesome is that?

How can we be like Paul? How can I make myself get back on that horse? The bigger question may be, when I do fail, how do I keep faith that I can still be something, someone, in Christ’s eyes? Because for us, failure is inevitable. (It’s probably what we are best at) How we deal with it is not inevitable. As Christ-followers, we need to remember that we are accepted by Jesus because of grace, not based on performance. If we fail, SO WHAT!? What is important is that we move forward in Christ’s plan, and glorify him to the best of our ability. Strive harder to be like Paul, learn from our failure and don’t let it make us afraid to try other things or move forward. Success can only happen when on the verge of failure. So, if you live your life scared of failure, you will live your life scared of success.

I feel like I have been seeing God a lot more lately.  I don’t know if I was doing something wrong before, or if I was just too blind to see him, but lately, it’s been “in-your-face-here-I-am amazing.”

I was talking to a guy named Larry at church a few weeks ago about the song “Amazing Grace”.  I can’t seem to not cry when I hear it.  I tend to be a person who hates songs that are played out, and if any song is played out, I think it’s “Amazing Grace” but, I have to say, that song penetrates the depths of my heart, and stabs me.  The words, the feeling, the meaning.  I mean.  Wow.  Right?  

I have been lost, and now I am found.  It’s a wonderful feeling.  At the same time, it’s scary.  It’s an intimidating feeling.  To know there is a God that will love you no matter what.  It’s like… I don’t know words to describe it, but it is slightly intimidating.

I do know that in a month and a half, I am going to be a husband, and finally I have an example of love.  I finally have a portrait of what true love should be, and what I need to strive to achieve.  That is soothing to my soul.  It takes away some of the anxiety.  Because one thing I am good at is screwing up, and with a perfect, loving God, I know I can do anything through him.  

I have taken on new passions, with God.  I have decided that I can do something good.  I decided that there is change needed in this world, and God has opened the door for me to persue that.  With the internet, with my words, and with my love.  I have a role model I can look up to.  I was blind, but now I see.  

Wow. Just look at these kids.  Four children have been sponsored!  Four children that are equal in the eyes of God, finally get a chance! Because of the internet, and possibly because I decided to put them on my Blog!  It’s a pretty insane feeling.

 To me, it makes all the politics minute, it makes my problems seem silly.  Just to look at these pictures, and think of the smile on their faces when they heard they were finally sponsored.  When they heard they might eat a meal a day.  When they heard, someone somewhere out in this crazy world, Loves them.  

The things we have done, not for love, but because of love.  The feeling God has placed in my heart, is overwhelming, and causes me to ramble.  Causes me to look in the mirror, and smile.  When I wake up in the morning, I want to rejoice.  I am still here.  Heck. I am more here than ever before.  A beautiful world, a beautiful life, and a beautiful God!

Jesus, thank You for the blood You shed for us.  Thank You for putting love into my life.  Thank You for the sweet sweet sound of amazing grace.  Lord, help us all to see Your light, truth and way.  With out You Lord, I am just a lost, blind man.  With you, I am found, and can see clear as day.  Help us all die each day to be renewed in You, Your grace, and Your Love.  Lord, I love You and I pray that You make Your Kingdom on Earth as it is in Heaven.  Jesus, I love You.  I need You.  

Amen.

Well, I will say that this weekend has been really weird.  For anyone who has been keeping up, I think it is official that the pains I was/am having are indeed Gall Stones.  My wonderful fiance did do A LOT of research, and find a way to break them down and pass them without surgery.  Which I am very grateful for!

The solution she found appears to be working, and we think with one more phase, I should be good as gold!

On another note, Toby and I have been doing some behind the scenes creative brainstorming, and I am very excited to say that I think we have come up with some really awesome things.  I hope to have him do some writing on this page for me at some point in time.

More to come this week!  I am constantly learning more about myself and Jesus Christ and I can’t wait to share about all of it.

IF you need some reading to do, Don’t forget to check out my Fiance and Toby!