For those of you under a rock, (or, if you’re just new here) my wife is due to have our first child in 5 weeks.  That is one of the reasons I have not been blogging a lot.  I have been very busy with ‘real life’ and that kind of jazz.  Preparing for a baby is difficult.  Especially if you have no clue what you’re preparing for.

Painting, building, sandbags, boarded up windows, I’m pretty sure some of those things aren’t 100% necessary but better safe than sorry, right?  It’s funny that if I want to get a dog the humane society would have to come look at my home to make sure it’s suitable, but to take a baby home all I have to do is install a car seat right. (Which the fire department will do for me.) Kind of weird how America works.

Well with that said, I’d like to say, sorry for not writing here.  I know you all look forward to it so much…….

right?

Anyway, I’ll try to write a little bit more when I have time.. What should I write about?

We’re moving.  “But I thought you had moved already?” you might ask.  We have.  And we’ve put a lot of sweat and effort into this new house.  The thing no one ever really thinks about, is you have to move out of your old place.  You have to clean it up.  So, with that said, we’re still ‘moving’.

I’ve been so excited to get into this house.  Maybe too excited.  I have not, until today, taken a second to look backwards.  That little one bedroom, one bath apartment was our 1st home.  That is where we went on our wedding night, it’s where we’ve sat together, countless nights (Ok. they’re not countless, they’re very countable actually) watching T.V. or just talking to each other.  Heck, not to be too graphic, but that’s where we made a baby…  That’s where I got to know my wife. That’s where we found out she was pregnant together… That’s where we freaked out together… That’s where we dreamed together.

Today, I returned to the apartment to do some finishing touches, including painting over somethings Andrea had painted on the wall.  As I took that paint brush and ran it over the painting it hit me.

Everything hit me.  All at once.  Not just moving, but everything.  10 months ago, we started an adventure together.  Life.  Where we would go, we had no clue. (We even spoke of up and moving to Oregon at one point)  We moved into a one bedroom apartment that allotted us NO personal space.  We learned about each other.  We argued with each other(and when we argued, we had to work it out.. I couldn’t go anywhere and hide.)  We prayed with each other.  We grew to love each other more.  She became a wife, and I became a husband.  We created a life together, and we created a life together.  (I wrote that twice on purpose…. )

Now, She’s going to be a mom and I’m going to be a dad.  We’re going to be parents together.  She probably has a better connection with the reality of it.  The truth is.  I didn’t fully and probably… still don’t.    But it’s all starting to sink in.  In 6 weeks and 6 days, we will start another part of life together.  With someone else.  Someone who poops and cries a lot.  And the weird thing… I’m excited.

Why am I excited?  Well, because we’re gonna have a beautiful child.

Also though, because, we’re gonna be together.

Maybe I have that.  Or maybe I have non-seperation anxiety.

I am going through one of my phases where I’m realizing just how jacked up the institutionalized church really is.  I read things about ‘church’ and I just can’t believe it.  I lose confidence in churches.  I get VERY cynical about church.  (just ask my wife or father-in-law).  I get so upset sometimes that I can’t even read something good a church does and say, “Oh. Good for them.”  I immediately jump to the negative.

My problem here lately, is I’ve been forgetting to separate the ‘church’ and God.  I keep putting Jesus in this little box.  (With a steeple, some pews, one guy talking, and several hundred listening and taking notes.)  It’s so easy for me to do.  I forget to look at the clouds and marvel in the sheer beauty.  I forget to look at the lake outside of my apartment and watch the water move.  I forget to look at the little gooslings follow their parents around in the spring.  I forget.  I forget to look inside my wife’s belly, and watch that mini-me grow.  In this magnificant time in my life, I’m too busy being pissed off to sit back and enjoy the wonderful beauty of life.

My prayer today is to remove God from the little box.  I want to allow Him in all aspects of my life.  And I want to just… apologize for putting You in that box in the first place. I want to look at all of the small wonders I see on a daily basis and be wow’d.  I want to realize how crazy it is to open this laptop up, and connect to the world.  I want to look at my pregnant wife, and be awed by the fact that she is growing a little person.  I want to open my eyes.  God. I want you to open my eyes.   That’s my prayer for today.  Help me Seperate, help me open my eyes and God, help me see.

Today, Andrea has her first ultrasound.  I am excited, nervous, and about a million other things.  But mostly excited.  I just wish today we could find out if it’s a boy or girl… but I guess we have to wait for that.

While you’re here.. what do you think of the new layout/title and stuff?

Let me know!  Hollar!

My kid sister’s name is Heather.  I guess some people would say she’s a little old for me to call her kid sister, but that’s her name.  She is 23, and has a kid of her own.  So, “Kid Sister” is probably a little out of date. I digress.

Heather has grown to be an amazing woman.  As you can tell by reading this blog, the struggles of our childhood were real, and traumatic.  Adrienne and I did our best to protect the youngers, but they still got some backlash.  When Adrienne died, I was not living at home, and I think the realities of every thing we had protected Heather from hit her full force.  Fortunately, Heather was wise enough to know how to handle it by that point, and never took what we had taught her for granted.  She quicky realized what she had only had a glimpse of, and sometimes I think she regrets not realizing it before Adrienne passed.

Somehow, in the recent years, she has, bless her heart, become the mediator for our family.  She talks to everyone and explains things better than we could explain to each other.  She’s wise beyond her years, (Though sometimes I still need to straighten out her views. ha)

She is a runner.  Meaning, whenever crap goes bad, or good, she runs.  She runs to celebrate, she runs to let off steam, she runs.  That what she does.  (Like Forrest Gump, but smarter)I think it’s good.  She has ran marathon’s, and recently (within the last few years) started riding a bike. She is amazing.

I think she always looked up to me, which could put me in blame for some of her issues, but I think all in all, she has learned a lot.  Mostly a lot of what NOT to do, but I like to think she took away some of my good traits too.  I was always able to make her laugh, no matter what situation we were in, and throughout our lives, I don’t think we have ever had a really bad arguement. (Aside from her Ron Paul fiasco, but that was just a learning experience.)

Now, from what Adrienne and I have taught her, she is on her own.  Raising a baby (and a husband)  I couldn’t be more proud of her.  She has overcome so many obstacles, and is making a life, a family, and is well in tune with the curse of genetics she needs to overcome.  It’s a great thing to see her realize that. It’s an even greater thing to see her overcome that.

Every day I talk to her, I am reminded that we didn’t do so bad.  Life wasn’t so much crap that we weren’t able to come out of it with our heads up.  We just had to clean some of the dirt off, and move forward.  It’s great to know that we have such a headstrong family, probably the best trait my mom gave us.

So.  If you want to go cheer my kid sister on in her post baby running adventures, PLEASE PLEASE do.  She loves encouragement, and your words will mean the world to her.