This morning I was walking in to the kitchen to get something before I left for work.  Right as you are entering our kitchen, there is a piece of wood hanging on your left, that has my vows to Andrea  burnt into it.  This morning I stopped, and read them.  To be honest, I haven’t really thought about them since our wedding.  I don’t know if that’s common or if I’m hanging my self out to be the worlds worst husband here, but this morning it hit me hard.  I was overcome with a sense of love.  I was overcome with a sense of reality.  I was overcome with everything.  Every word I read, I realized more and more how much I love my wife.

The vows I wrote don’t express my love for her, and I don’t think words can.  I pray every night that I am able to be half the man that she deserves.  If you don’t know my wife, A) you’re missing out.  B) you should know that she is a woman that has lived an amazing life, and has a passion for people that you can’t even imagine.  This weekend I had a chance to hear her share her passions with some people, and I was amazed.  I fall in love with her more and more every day.  Every morning I wake up and thank God for another day with her.  I truly am the luckiest man on the face of the earth.  This morning it hit me, those vows weren’t just wedding vows.  They were life vows.  They are the promises I made that I am going to live by every day for the rest of my life.

All this to say, Andrea, if you’re reading this, I love you.

So, yesterday I turned 26 years old.  Let me say that I went to bed the night before anything but excited.  I’m not big on (my) birthdays.  It’s not that they aren’t cool, and… who doesn’t like the attention.  It’s just that in the last 26 years, I only have good memories of a handful of them.  So, I don’t ever really have high expectations.  Let me say, even if I did have high expectations, yesterday would have blown them out of the water.  So, here is my recap.

I woke up around 6:30 am to the sound of my wife’s voice. I was very confused, I guess I was in a deep deep sleep.  When I opened my eyes, Andrea is standing there with eggs, Sausage, french toast and a side of syrup. (morning gravy)   Wow.  Off to a great start.  I ate it quickly, still wondering if I was dreaming, got up to  kiss my wife, and she left for work.  I hopped in the shower and did my morning routine to head in to work.

Work was good.  Only one person said happy birthday, which is fine by me.  I like being low key, and I don’t expect every person to memorize the day I was born as something special.  It’s silly to think co-workers would do that anyway.  At work, I’m really busy, and I start to fall behind on several projects I have going.  One of them is one of the few I have with a deadline.  I plugged in my iPod.  Turned on Jack Johnson and hacked away.  And before I knew it, I was ahead of schedule!  That pretty much rocked.

Around 11:30 (A total guess)  I was working away and I hear someone approaching my cubicle.  That’s pretty normal, so I turn down my music, and look to see who is coming.  Who else walks around the corner but Andrea! (Who is supposed to be at work)  I was shocked, confused and surprised.  The last person I expected to see at that moment was her.

She informed me that I was being kidnapped for the day and we were playing hookie.  Sweet!  So, I packed up my stuff, and hopped in her car, not knowing what to expect next, or where we were going.  Our first destination was an Indian restaurant, with an all you can eat lunch buffet! I should go ahead and say, my favorite style of food is Indian so this was AWESOME to me!   I ate until my pants didn’t fit, and off we went….. slowly.   Then we went to Dave and Busters.  There is always a little kid in me who wants to see how many tickets I can win.  I know it’s a little weird, but I love winning tickets.  I love it.  And, what better way/time to win tickets than with your lovely wife, on a day you should be at the office working?

We played silly gimmicky games, and “Deal or No Deal” several times, along with ski ball, basketball, trivia, and air hockey. And, for the first time in Andy/Andrea history, Andrea beat me at air-hockey.  I would like to say that I have several excuses for why she beat me, but the fact is, she won.  Fair and square.

After that, we headed home.  (I was tired)  When we got home, I smell nothing but the suh-weet aroma of homemade chili.  Let me say, I am a chili expert.  I eat chili as often as possible (Ask anyone) and my wife makes the absolute best chili in the world.  It was only about 3:15, so we didn’t eat.  Instead, we turned on the T.V. and sat on the floor and played Super Mario 3 on my nintendo.  We did that for about 30 minutes then hopped up on to the couch and dozed off for an hour or so.  What a relaxing/fun afternoon.

around 6, I woke up, we ate the chili, and let me say, it was the best of the best.  Man.  I don’t know how she sneaks all of that flavor into one little crock pot, but, MAN, is it good.

After that, we hung out, watched Wheel of Fortune and jeopardy.  Decided we wanted coffee so to Starbucks we went.  (I had a gift card, and we didn’t have cream, so we decided to not make the coffee)  When we got home from Starbucks, we watched what was left of Ugly Betty.  Then we watched Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and snuggled up in the bed.

I’ll leave my super sweet 26, right there.  But, all in all it was a full, fantastic awesome birthday.  By far the best birthday I have ever had.  And it’s all thanks to my beautiful wife.  Head over to her site, and give her some love.. (Oh, and congratulate her on her air hockey victory… I don’t anticipate her winning again.)

So, last night on the way home from church, we passed by the bar in which I used to work.  I am happy to say that this bar is now out of business.

For those of you who don’t know.  That bar was called the Blue Moose Tavern.  I literally lived at that bar for three and a half months.  That bar is where I did most of my doping, and a good bit of my drinking.  That bar was filled with deceit, hate, lies, backstabbing, and everything that was killing me.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am not blaming that place for my problems.  I am fully aware that those were my decisions.  But that bar did not help.  That bar did not make it easy. that bar had my soul for a very very long time, and most of the memories of that bar are very painful.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  That bar holds one very special memory.  That is the first time I ever laid eyes on the most beautiful girl in the world.  The angel in the room full of evil.  The shining light through the cloud of smoke.  The most talented barista in all the world. That is the first place I ever saw Andrea, (before she saw me, I’m pretty sure)  That is the place I spoke my first words to her, which were, “Hey baby, why don’t I take you outside and show you how a real man kisses.”

No. I’m not kidding.  I was a loser.

Because of that meeting, my life has changed, and I fully believe Jesus has a reason for everything.  The reason Andrea was hurting, and going to places like that for escape, may very well be to be a wounded healer for me.

Looking back, it’s almost hard to believe the person I was back then.  It’s impossible to imagine where I would be today.  I thank God for meeting Andrea, in that little piece of Hell.  I’m glad we both left that place.  God is good indeed!

With that said. Praise God!

Good riddance Blue Moose Tavern!

Some of the reasons I love thee.

• When we’re reading, in silence, I know every 10 minutes, (At least) I know she will laugh.  I know then she will look at me until I look back at her, and then say, “I have to read this to you.”
• She is so firm in her beliefs.  No one is going to sway her, and she is not going to back down.
• Have you seen her eyes?
• The way she can’t quite wake up until a cup of coffee.
• Do you know how often she writes Saxby Chambliss?  If he ever goes to prison, I KNOW he will have a pen pal.
• Andrea is not only the HOTTEST girl I have ever seen, she’s smarter than me.
• She’s feisty.  Sometimes, right before I get mad, and we argue, I have to try not to laugh.  Sometimes I do laugh.  Because she is cute as a button when she’s mad.
• Have you seen her eyes?
• This list could go on forever, but she is home from her bridal shower.  So, I have to help carry stuff.

Ten days before Andrea and I started speaking to one another, rather than just knowing one another was probably one of the toughest times of my life.  A little before the first of the year, I had decided that doping was not the way I wanted to spend my life.  So, I proceeded to lock myself in my room and sweat, shake, cry, vomit, scream, vomit some more, and just want to die in general.  On the 12th, I decided to go out to get a beer, to take the edge off.  (Ha)  I ended up running into some “friends” of mine.  One being my dealer, who was obviously really missing my daily financial contribution of about 150 bucks.  So, she decided that she would give me some “free dope”.  One rule.  There really is no such thing as free dope.  It’s just a ploy to get you hooked, either again, or for the first time.  But, I took it.

That night, a friend who had no where to live asked if she could crash at my house.  I didn’t mind, I had an extra room, so what the heck?  Right?  When we got to my house, she started wigging out.  I was saying goodbye to another friend, and as I spun around to see what her problem was, I see a 4 foot long Red Bull mirror being swung at my face.  I didn’t even have time to react.  It just hit me.  I stumbled backwords, feeling the blood running down my face.  I didn’t know if glass had caught my eye or what, so I just stumbled around.

I heard a scream, I opened my eyes, she had grabbed a broken piece of glass and had her sights set on me.  Next thing I knew, I had been stabbed in the stomach, and was being cut all over with this piece of glass.  The only thing going through my mind was my mom’s voice.  “I don’t care what happens. Never.  Ever.  EVER hit a woman.” I was trying to figure out what I could do without hitting this girl.

Finally, I was able to grab her arms. (by now, both hands had pieces of glass, covered in my blood.)  I spun her around, and she stumbled to the ground.  I immediately sat on her.  Holding her arms with my knees.  I sat there for about 20 minutes while she kicked and screamed.  Finally she fell asleep.

Looking back, I assume she was wigging out on dope.  At the time, I just thought someone wanted me dead. After she fell asleep, I got up, stumbled to my bed, still bleeding and laid down.   (It was about 3:00 am on January 13th. A friday)

That morning, I was being poked.  I woke up to see a sherrif hovering over my bed.  I immediatly realized that my room probably looked like a murder scene.  But that is not why he was there.  His mission for the day was to evict my family.  yay.  I helped move some of the breakables out. (The guys that move you out don’t pay much attention to fragile stickers.  I had learned this two evictions ago.) After an hour of helping, I had to get to work.  I got a ride in, and when I got there, my boss handed me my last check, and told me I couldn’t work there anymore, and I that I needed to get help.  wow.  I knew today was not going to be a good day.  I got a ride back to my [former] house.  I got my dad.  I loaded him, and his wheelchair and my brother up, took them to a pay by the night, extended stay hotel.  I paid for two weeks, and I left.

With the rest of my money I went out, bought a mass quantity of dope, and alcohol.  Thinking back, I don’t believe I had intended to live past that night.  I went into the bathroom at the bar and did the entire bag of dope.  I paid the bartender, and stumbled out the door.  I walked up highway 78 a couple of miles and stumbled into the woods.  Laid down, and went to sleep.  I don’t know how long I was “asleep” but something woke me up, and I had an urge to live.  I walked to a gas station, stole a beanie hat, walked around back, to an outdoor bathroom, locked the door, and curled up.  That is where I spend the rest of my night.  That is also where I spent the next few nights, without drugs.  Without anything but time to think.  That, to me, was rock bottom.

I went back to my dad’s hotel room.  He let me crash on the floor.  The day before my birthday I went out, just for beer.  Still sobering up.  And got arrested for driving under the influence. When I got out of jail, I got on my dad’s laptop, got online, and sure enough, the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth was online.  I chatted her.  She informed me that she was supposed to be at my surprise party, that was called off, because I was in jail.  We haven’t gone but a few days without talking since that day.  A few months after starting to talk to her, I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart.  My life has NEVER been the same.

I count my sober day as January 13th.  That was the last day I ever did drugs.  Ever.  It took me a while to realize alcohol was also a problem, but I realized it.  Thank God!

I look back at these days, and just can’t believe it.  Two days ago, Andrea and I were kind of freaking out about having to take money out of our savings.  OUR SAVINGS!  Praise God that we have a SAVINGS!  Two or three years ago that was non existent!  I am a completely different person and there is no one to thank for that but Jesus Christ!   Really, it’s….. it’s…… beyond words.

Thank You God!

I believe God pulled me