Jesus asks us to take up our own Cross daily.

[23] Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. [24] For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. [25] What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

That’s scary.  Every day, I need to deny myself and take up my cross? That’s not pleasant at all.  I have to deny my urge to drink, to be angry, to lust, to…. well, do anything besides give glory to God!  That’s a tall order!  How on earth can each man take up his own cross?

I think about Jesus carrying His cross.  I think about people shouting at him, spitting on him, hitting him.  Humiliated, bleeding, hurt, He drags His cross as far as He possibly can.  This is where things get interesting.  Jesus couldn’t go any farther.  He could not go forward.  Jesus did not ask anyone for help.  No one offered.  That’s where Simon comes in.  He didn’t come running to help either.  It wasn’t a sign of mercy or compassion.  He was ordered to do so.  He was ordered to help Jesus Christ carry his cross.

Why do I say all of that?  I guess my point is, there will come a point in my life where I absolutely, cannot lift up my cross.  I am going to need a ‘Simon’.  I think we all are.  Regardless of if Simon offered the help, or if Jesus asked for the help, because honestly, I don’t have those answers.  I do think this offers a glimpse of what the Kingdom of God is like. Where a man will bear the cross for another.

Who are my Simons?  I think it’s pretty clear that if Jesus couldn’t bear His cross, (Physically) then there is no way on Earth any of us will be able to bear ours.  Who do I have in my life to help me bear mine?  Who can I help bear theirs?

A gold necklace, a painting, a magnet, a statue, a print on a shirt or, even an action figure.   I can buy him in jewelry shops, lawn shops, art stores, and even novelty shops.  He’ll look good hanging up in my hall, or maybe around my neck, or if I’m feeling bold today, on my t-shirt, loud and clear for everyone to see.  It’ll show I believe in Jesus Christ as my saviour, and people will realize I’m a pretty good person.

These are the things we think of when we think of Crucified Jesus today.  A man, who, in some instances, has blood on his head, side, hands and feed. He looks pretty ‘at peace’, pretty calm, sometimes he even has a halo.  his face, and his abs are pretty well defined.  He’s a good looking guy and he just looks…. nice, like everyone would like him.   When we look at the crucifix, we view it as something that happened is over with, and now, it’s just a novelty item.

In church, on blogs, in person, we talk about the Living Christ.  Walking around, telling stories (Some I still don’t get) and healing folk.  Rarely do we, in my experience, talk about the beaten, ugly, bloody image that is Jesus Christ.  A punched, slapped, spit on, laughed at, beaten, cut deep, bloody beyond recognition, eyes swollen shut, butt-naked, smelling of blood, spit and sweat, probably missing some teeth, nailed to a cross with NAILS to die for MY sins, begging someone to just wet his lip, inviting two criminals to walk with Him for eternity, IT IS DONE, Jesus. The reality is harsh.  Honestly, just thinking about that makes me break down a bit.  Taking the ‘concept’ we know, Christ dying for our sins, and making it reality.  Putting it into an actual event, that took place, just 2000 years ago.

Often times, it’s easy for me to talk about the Jesus that said the nice things, and invited us to FOLLOW Him.  That sounds great.  Say nice things (When I’m happy), pray (when I have time), feed the poor (if it’s not too cold), take care of orphans and widows (if it doesn’t interfare with my living situation), show mercy(unless they’re killers, or molestors).  See. Up to that point, following Jesus is easy. Relatively.  Not too far fetched.  It’s all things that I should do anyway, to keep face.

This is why the walking, talking Jesus is easy for me to think about, and follow.  This is why it’s so easy for me to disregard the crucifix as a nice representation in jewelry, art, or clothing.  Because the reality scares the crap out of me!  It’s not….’seeker friendly’.  “Hey, you should follow Jesus, he died for your sins…… OH! and he called YOU to die too!”

YIKES.

I need to focus on this.  I need to really think about the reality of pain, anguish, and hatred Christ felt.  Maybe that will put some things in perspective.  Should we all weep…. and rejoice… when we see a crucifix?  When we see it… I mean… REALLY see it… shouldn’t it be such a powerful representation of Christ and what has happened for us, that we should all immediately be overcome with joy, and sorrow at the same time?  Has the living, dying, and living again Christ become a novelty in our lives?

I need a reality check.

“How are you today?”

“Man, I’m blessed. you know it.”

That’s typically something I hear, or say often.  I say it in passing and, honestly, I’ve never sat down and thought about it.  What does it mean to be blessed?  Having a healthy family? A job? Money? Sure, that stuff is nice, and are a blessing in a lot of ways!  Is that truely blessed?  I read around.  Turns out Jesus says a lot to how to be blessed.

Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are the poor in spirit.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are ye when men shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Blessed are the peacemakers.
Blessed are those who mourn.
Blessed are the meek.

I am not sure I fit many of those descriptions, most of the time.  Are there other Scriptures that talk about being blessed?  Can someone give me a breakdown on being blessed in 1st world America, versus what Jesus teaches?  Is there a difference?  Is ‘blessed’ one of those words that means two different things, and you just have to know which one is which? 

I’m not being sarcastic here.  I just found it interesting that Jesus talks directly to ‘being blessed’, and I was wondering, is that a word we use to lightly?

I’ve been really focused on me.  The heavy stuff on my heart.  Can I just say that being a husband and father is the most amazing thing in the world!? [sthumbs=1599|1598|1597|1591|1595|1593|1587|1594|1589,144,3,n,center,]

I’m really good with words.  I mean really good.  (or is it well? Doesn’t matter) <– see what I did there?

What I mean is, growing up, all I had were my words.  At first, it was defense.  I knew if my mom was going to hit me, if I could make her laugh, she wouldn’t.  At school, I realized that, if I could make kids laugh, they’d like me.  I quickly learned that, with my words I could diffuse any situation.  Teacher’s mad?  I’ll talk to her.  Mom’s grounding me, and not letting me go out? I’ll talk to her, I’ll go out tonight. 

It’s spilled over into my adult life. (As have 100,000 other things.) I can, when I want to, talk my way out of anything. 

So, this is how I pray a lot of time. I reason with God.  I say things like, “You know that bad thing I did, well, it was one time, and… I’m only human, but you know I love you, and you love me, so… we’re cool, right?”

Boom, like that, I try to relieve myself of all responsibility.  God and I talked about it. That’s it. It’s done.

Well, it’s not.  Maybe that’s where a lot of this anger is coming from.  Maybe that’s where a lot of my low self-esteem is coming from.  I think my ‘prayer life’ has been lacking, because of me.  I think I am on to something.  I think I’m scared of working on it.  I’m scared to press the publish button.  I’m scared to confront this.  But I have to or I’ll be right back here in 6 months. (Or still here.)