I was going to try to come up with all sorts of spiritual reasons, I was going to try to be really smart. But, here’s the real. I am going to start working out and eating healthier. Yesterday, I watched a woman say goodbye to her husband. Yesterday, I realized, I do not want that to happen. I don’t want Andrea to have to endure that. I know I can’t control everything, and Got ultimately will have to decide that but, I do know that I can do everything in my power to avoid that. Step one, healthy diet, step two, exercise.

I know, it sounds tough, but I think I can do it. I don’t really have a “target” weight loss, I just have a target. Lose this fat gut. Look good in medium shirts again, and not get winded walking up stairs. God has given me all sorts of blessings. In a way, I feel like I am taking them for granted. That’s just silly. He has let me live through everything, and I treat my body like a junk(food)yard. It’s just not smart.

So. Starting today, I am eating right. That doesn’t mean diet, it is just a lifestyle change, and I am going to exercise. If it starts as 15 on a treadmill… so be it. I will improve, and in a year, I’ll be a healthy married man.

**pause** **Think**

What is God doing to me!? I’ll blog on that later!

Racism.  What is it to me?  I am not entirely sure.  But I do have some crazy thoughts on it, and different views on it.  I am going to be writing about it either tomorrow or Monday during the day.  Depending.  But, I can promise that this is not something you want to miss.  It should be some really good conversation, and I think that everyone will have some good input!  I will also talk about what I think the Bible says about it, and what I feel in my heart about it.

I might even have a confession.  I promise it won’t be something you want to miss.  I hope to see you all Tomorrow.  In the mean time, how has racism affected you!?!?  Comment below please!

Does it work?

Ok. So apparently, I have to use it for a certain amount of time.  I know I’m not too enthused, but it’s because I’m at work, and people will start wondering why I’m talking to myself.. (again!) What an awesome tool. {seesmic_video:{“url_thumbnail”:{“value”:”http://t.seesmic.com/thumbnail/JgF3VmX6DF_th1.jpg”}”title”:{“value”:”Seesmic…  ”}”videoUri”:{“value”:”http://www.seesmic.com/video/5gX8rb69ES”}}}

When I sat down to write about different kinds of addictions, I thought that I would be able to.  I honestly thought I would have enough to say, and know enough about it.  Now, it’s time for me to get real.  There are a million and one reasons someone will use drugs.  My mother got addicted, because while she was asleep, her boyfriend, (My “Bio-Dad”) shot crank into her arm.  That is how she got addicted.  That sucks.  I got addicted, just by using it.  I have friends that used recreationally for years before it got the best of them.

I think the amount of people I know who used or use drugs is what is making this so difficult to write.  So, one blog into this “series”, I’m stopping.  Why?  I don’t have all of the answers.  Here’s the real.  If you are addicted to anything,  Sex, drugs, alcohol, the internet, porn, chocolate, coffee, affection, attention, twitter, shopping, or microwavable dinners, you have a problem.  I was going to try and analyze it, and pull each one apart, but the truth is, there is a separation.  You want to be separated from the world, because it, or something in it, has hurt you so badly.  I know that hurt.  I have experienced that hurt.  I have (pretty much) overcome that hurt.

How?

There is a beautiful grace in the love and heart of Jesus Christ.  Sound corny?  I used to think so too.  I was also addicted to refusing to believe there was a higher power.  Until I finally hit rock bottom.  I woke up, a sheriff hovering over my bed, I still had stab wounds that had not yet stopped bleeding, and I was being evicted.  I got to work that day, and I lost my job.  That night, (January 14^th 2006), I slept in the woods for most of the night and then a gas station bathroom with a beanie hat I had just stolen from the gas station to get warm.  That is when I decided to turn around, and look at my life.  It wasn’t long after that when I finally allowed Jesus into my heart.  That is when my life, though still sometimes difficult to deal with, became whole.  That is when I was finally not alone anymore.

If you have an addiction, no matter how small you think it is, I urge you to get help.  If you don’t know where to go, E-mail me, comment here, find someone else to talk to.  I don’t want you to hit rock bottom.  Because for some people, rock bottom is dead.  I don’t want you to hit rock bottom, because that is the darkest, coldest, loneliest place in this world. I don’t want you to go through anything I went through.  or worse.  I might not know you, but I can promise I do not wish those lonely days on anyone.  Please consider looking into help.  Google it, Yellow Page it, talk to anyone who might have some answers.

I care about this world.  I care about the people of this world.  That includes you.  No one is any better than anyone else, and YOU deserve a second chance at life.  But, to get it, you have to go get it.

That’s all I have for ramblings today.  If you want to add to this, please let me know.  Also, definitely comment!!