Gemma was born October 7th at 7:44 am.  She weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 inches long.  She’s beautiful, and perfect in every way.

When Gemma was born, mama bear (Andrea) and Gemma had a slight fever.  Nothing insane.  Since then, they’ve been running blood screens on Gemma.

Her CRP count has been exceedingly high.  A normal CRP count for a new born is 0.9.  Gemma’s on Thursday was 9.6 and on Friday had spiked to 11.6.  This means that Gemma’s body is fighting off an infection.  The doctors can’t seem to pinpoint where.   On Friday, a Neonatal specialist came in and said that he needed to make sure that Gemma’s infection was not in her brain, (Meningitis) by doing a lumbar puncture, which is a spinal tap but needed our approval to do so.  Ouch.  This parenthood thing is TOUGH!!  Andrea and I discussed it and decided that we really had no choice.  It’s hard to say, “OK… you can stick a needle in our baby’s back.”.

The results came back negative, PRAISE GOD! We thought that was great news.  We thought that meant that there wasn’t an infection.  Yesterday they told us there still was an infection and little baby Gemma had to stay at the hospital until they A) found the infection or B) she’s completed a full round of antibiotics, which could take 7-10 days.

Gemma is currently in level 2 of NICU.  Level 2, I think means pretty much she is NOT in critical condition.  Andrea and I are the only two allowed to visit her, and have to literally scrub in, and put on gowns to see her.  It’s so surreal.  This is not anything I ever imagined our first baby’s birth would be like!

We spoke with her pediatrician last night and we got more information than anyone at the hospital could give us.  Worst case scenario Gemma will be in the hospital until next Sunday if the antibiotics she is on now work.
If her blood work comes back improved today, like a CRP level of 9, and then even more improved tomorrow, there is a chance we will be able to take Gemma home and give her the love and care she needs, and get the rest of her antibiotics either by a nurse that comes to our home, or by taking her to out pediatrician.  That is what we are praying for today.  I would love it if you prayed with us!

We’re praying for wisdom for the doctors treating her.  We are praying that she is touched with God’s healing hand, and that her body is able to fight this infection (wherever it is, most likely in the blood).  We are praying for strength, courage and wisdom ourselves to understand what is happening.  We are both new to this parenthood thing, and we HATE seeing poor Gemma have to go through all of this.  If you could pray with us, that would be great!

For right now, we are in a hotel by the hospital, so we can feed Gemma and be close to her.   Andrea and I are working in shifts during the night, so we can each try to get a little bit more than 1.5 hours of sleep at a time.

I know that this could all be going way worse, but now I understand when parents talk about their child hurting.  It sucks bad.

I will continue to update this site with any news and I’m even trying to make a page for pictures.

I’ve been almost forced in to thinking about addiction again lately.  It hasn’t been pretty, but I think I’ve realized a lot.  Andrea asked me a few weeks ago if I missed the old days.  I told her no.  I said there were still times when I think about them, and… Not crave anything, but I think about it.  I do miss smoking.  It’s a thorn in my side.  It bothers me.  Andrea said that God could remove that from me, and I believe he can. But.

I don’t think he will.  I found recently that I’ve lost patience for addicts.  I have the, “I did it, (quit) why can’t they?” mentality.  I get annoyed, and almost don’t even want to be there for people.  I believe that God gives me this thorn, to remind me.  To keep me on my toes.  Not to weaken me, but to make me stronger.

All of my friends are addicts, and I’d say most of them still use to this day.  When I see them, it breaks my heart.  But, my mind is saying, “Screw them, they’re idiots.  blah blah blah.”  That’s just how I am.  I think I disassociate, so when the inevitable happens, I won’t be too disappointed.  But, the truth is, I will.   I don’t want it to happen.

I don’t even know what to pray anymore for myself, or my friends.  I think I’ll always miss smoking, for reasons mentioned above.  I don’t know what to pray for my friends.  I pray they don’t die.  But I have a feeling some of them are going to have to (again) to get the point.

It’s depressing.  What do you pray when you don’t know what to pray?

Something big is happening.  It’s bigger than winning that new iPhone from Squarespace.  It’s bigger than your bad day at work.  It’s bigger than your boyfriend breaking up with you.

The social networking frenzy is not just for the yahoos anymore.  No one can say that Twitter is pointless.  No one.  Supporters for defeated Iranian presidential Candidate are rallying, and using twitter to organize.  It’s actually pretty stinking huge.  Check this link to read some of the live tweets going on as we speak.

I can’t get over the fact that this is real life.  This isn’t some internet game.  People are dying.  Do some research, see what you can do to help.  But for the love of God.  Don’t just sit here and ignoring it.  There are some specific things you can do to help support the movement, scroll past the image to see a good checklist as how to help..  Stuff like this is happening every day, all over the world.  I think it’s about time it’s brought to the forefront of our attention.  It’s time we stop ignoring it because it’s not us.  Compassion guys… compassion. If nothing else, pray as much as you can for this country, these people’s families, the lives of everyone.  Pray. Pray. Pray.

(From http://www.i-policy.org/)
The purpose of this guide is to help you participate constructively in the Iranian election protests through twitter.

1. Do NOT publicise proxy IP’s over twitter, and especially not using the #iranelection hashtag. Security forces are monitoring this hashtag, and the moment they identify a proxy IP they will block it in Iran. If you are creating new proxies for the Iranian bloggers, DM them to @stopAhmadi or @iran09 and they will distributed them discretely to bloggers in Iran.

2. Hashtags, the only two legitimate hashtags being used by bloggers in Iran are #iranelection and #gr88, other hashtag ideas run the risk of diluting the conversation.

3. Keep you bull$hit filter up! Security forces are now setting up twitter accounts to spread disinformation by posing as Iranian protesters. Please don’t retweet impetuosly, try to confirm information with reliable sources before retweeting. The legitimate sources are not hard to find and follow.

4. Help cover the bloggers: change your twitter settings so that your location is TEHRAN and your time zone is GMT +3.30. Security forces are hunting for bloggers using location and timezone searches. If we all become ‘Iranians’ it becomes much harder to find them.

5. Don’t blow their cover! If you discover a genuine source, please don’t publicise their name or location on a website. These bloggers are in REAL danger. Spread the word discretely through your own networks but don’t signpost them to the security forces. People are dying there, for real, please keep that in mind.

6. Denial of Service attacks. If you don’t know what you are doing, stay out of this game. Only target those sites the legitimate Iranian bloggers are designating. Be aware that these attacks can have detrimental effects to the network the protesters are relying on. Keep monitoring their traffic to note when you should turn the taps on or off.

7. Do spread the (legitimate) word, it works! When the bloggers asked for twitter maintenance to be postponed using the #nomaintenance tag, it had the desired effect. As long as we spread good information, provide moral support to the protesters, and take our lead from the legitimate bloggers, we can make a constructive contribution.

Please remember that this is about the future of the Iranian people, while it might be exciting to get caught up in the flow of participating in a new meme, do not lose sight of what this is really about.

It sure has been a while since I’ve written. Heck for that matter, it had been a while since I had opened my twitter app.  Yesterday, I felt a sense of OK with opening it, so I opened it, and boom!  Within fifteen minutes I was really annoyed.  At what?  I don’t even know for sure, I just got annoyed. Something is not right with that.

That pretty much sums up the reason for time without this stuff.  It seemed like every time I got on, there was noise.  A blog fight about which sin is the best, someone talking about how awesome Obama is, or GASP how horrible he is.  Finger pointing, and no real collaboration to work together as any form of ‘community’ to talk about the real problems.  I even participated in some of this stuff, and it chilled my bones.  When did this thing become less about Him?

I took last week to focus on my wife, quitting smoking, and Him.  It wasn’t an intentional week.  It could have been shorter or longer. It still might be.  I may post every day.  I may post once every couple of days.  What’s important to me, is I post what I feel God is putting on my heart.  I want to focus on non judgement, and love.  Why this whole thing started.  I want to talk about forgiveness and salvation.  I want you guys to read with, and comment.

This wasn’t ‘time of from the internet’ or ‘time off from blogging’.  This was silence.  because I felt that, I heard it.  Silence.

For those who are wondering, I have quit smoking for over a week.  I’m doing ok, and I am pretty sure the worst part is over.  I have been praying alot about redemption, salvation, and everything that He has done for ALL of us.

1 O GIVE thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever! 2 Let the redemmed of the Lord say so, whom He has delivered from the hand of the adversary, 3 And gathered them out of the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the [Red] Sea in the south. 4 Some wandered in the wilderness in a solitary desert track; they found no city for habitation. 5 Hungry and thirsty, they fainted; their lives were near to being extinguished. 6 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them out of their distresses.

Man, isn’t he just awesome?

So, last Monday I made my quit date the 24th.  I’m not quite sure why.  Anyway, Today is the 23rd, and I’m quitting smoking.  Honestly, I will need all the prayers I can get.  From everything I’ve ever quit, smoking is by far the most difficult.

I’ll try to keep everyone up to date, even if I stumble.  But, as of right now, just a few prayers here and there, or whenever you have time would be great.

Thanks.