Struggles With Regret

When I was 18, I was going to get “No Regrets” tattood on my forearm.  Instead, I later got the ‘Pi’ symbol.  Talk about irony.

It’s probably a good thing I didn’t because there are times I’m overwhelmed with regret.  Sunday, I was laying on the floor, playing with Gemma.  I don’t know exactly what happened, but I know I looked at her, and then I realized that one day, I’m not going to be here.  I realized that, because of decisions I’ve made in the past, that day could come a lot sooner than it should.

That sucks.  Looking at your 6 month old daughter and realizing, “Well, I was too selfish in the past to think about this day, so, when you get a little bit older, I may not be around.”

Now, I know that we could all go at any second.  But, I’m sure there’s some statistic out there that can explain that life choices made, have some sort of adverse effect on your expected life span.

I’m not writing this as a ‘woe is me’ type post.  I’m still going to wake up everyday, and try to have the most positive influence I possible can on my family.  I’m still going to get up, die to myself, and live as best I can.  I’m simply writing this because it’s something that’s been on my heart lately.  I know, had I found this blog when I was 20 I probably would have laughed, but maybe if someone reads this it will stick with them.