Fast forward to St. Patrick’s day. (2006)

Andrea had to work.  I hung out at her apartment all day, waiting for her to get off.  I started drinking early.  really early.  So, by the time it was time to go out, I was well on my way to being drunk. 

A huge group of us started on our way to the local hangout.  We were having a blast, but Andrea and I couldn’t show our affection towards one another, because no one knew.  Her friend who was interested in me sat next to me, and we all were having a good time.  There was a radio station there giving out prizes.  One of the prizes was tickets to the Jamie Cullum concert.  Andrea looked at me and said, “I want those tickets.” 

The question was, “What does Budweiser stand for?”  I immediately darted to the front.  Years prior, an old man named Billy sat me down and explained the history of Budweiser to me, so I knew that, in fear of copyright infringement, Anheiser Busch had decided that Budweiser stood for, “Because U Deserve What Every Individual Should Enjoy Regularly”.  I run to the front and answer the question.  Boom!  Tickets to Jamie Cullum!  I was so happy, and again, I couldn’t celebrate with a hug or a kiss.  As a matter of fact, I think the question was in the air of who I was taking.  To me… it wasn’t a question.

As the night went on, another one of Andrea’s “Friends” showed up.  I was not thrilled.  Not sure why, nor do I remember the circumstances, but I look over at one point and Andrea was kissing this tiny man.  I couldn’t take it.  I got really upset.  I went outside.  I few people followed me, and that’s when I let the cat out of the bag, that I had feelings for her.  That didn’t make the night go any smoother, which, was fine by me, because at that point, I blacked out.

I’m not exactly sure what happened from that moment forward, but I do know we all headed back to Andrea’s apartment.  Apparently Andrea and I were arguing and I said I had to go outside to have a cigarette.  (She was on the second floor, so I stepped out on her balcony.)  Again, I don’t remember, but apparently, I leaped over the balcony, and on to the ground.  But, I didn’t land on my feet. 

I’m not sure how or why I did that, but I did.  I ended up in the ER.  This is where I start coming out of my blackout.  Andrea was there.  And the girl who was interested in me was there as well.  But, Andrea was back in the room with me.  They had to run X-rays on me and all sorts of stuff.  I was really drunk, so was acting silly.  I do remember looking Andrea in the eyes and saying, “I love you.”  She didn’t reply.  I don’t think she thought I meant it.  Turns out I wasn’t severely injured, and the Doctors said that if I hadn’t been drunk, I would have really injured myself.  I remember thinking, “If I hadn’t been drunk, I wouldn’t have jumped off a balcony.”  There were some other events that happened in the ER that I am not going to talk about today, because it’s a little above PG.  But, trust me, it was probably one of the most awkward moments in my life. 

That’s the night I think Andrea realized I had a drinking problem.  (Not that I did anything about it for quite some time) 

So, now the cat is out of the bag.  Everyone knows I like Andrea.   And, from what I can tell, everyone was telling Andrea that I am NOT the kind of guy she wants to be with.  I’m a recovering drug addict, alcoholic, mentally unstable.  They were right too. 

There’s still a lot more to this story.  I hope you keep reading.

We continued to talk.  Text messaging was all the rage, so that happened a lot.   We’d go to Waffle House and eat.  She made me laugh.  She made me forget I was withdrawing from drugs.  I was fresh out of a relationship and she was going through stuff of her own.  I told her I was still in love with a girl I dated, and she’d kind of make fun of me.  She’d tell me about some guys she was ‘talking to’ (Some in other states), and explain to me her fear of commitment.  We were good friends.

I few months prior, I had my eyes on one of her friends.  She came around again and we talked to.  Nothing serious, just chatted, you know.  One night, we all went out.  A group of friends.  The fact that Andrea and I had kissed or been talking as much as we have was a secret (Per her request).  After a few drinks, Andrea and her friends went to the bathroom and gave said girl a pep talk. Told her to “go for it”, regarding me.  She walked out, and we kissed.  I look over on the dance floor and Andrea was kissing another dude.  It made me sad.  That moment I realized, that I had to have her for my own.  That didn’t mean anything.  It’s just what I realized.

We ended up getting left at the club, I think, and finding another ride to Waffle House.  That night was interesting.  A bunch of us ended up gathering at my house so I could play guitar and we could sing and crashing on the floor in my living room… Andrea was there.  We didn’t talk much that night, but I did try to kiss her.  She denied me.

We continued to talk, and we got closer and closer.  She would pick me up from work. (Secretly) her friend still liked me, (openly) so we were secret ‘friends’.  I would bring her food after we closed. (At this point I worked at Chili’s)  She liked the lettuce wraps.  I made them carefully for her.  She would bring me coffee or cupcakes or both. (from starbucks, where she worked)  We’d lay around, watch adult swim, she’d stay until we were both falling asleep, and she’d leave.  Those moments, man.  I can’t even explain those moments.   When she touched me, my heart sank.  When I thought we might kiss, my heart sped up.  When I saw her, my stomach went in knots.  I was no longer the smooth talker.  I was a bumbling idiot.  She made me nervous.

But there was one thing I knew….

When we were together, all of my worries went away.  She listened and she cared.  She knew when to talk, and she knew when to just let me complain.  There was something special about this girl.  I was finally happy.  I think, deep down, at that moment in time, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

My last post made me think.  I haven’t ever really hashed out my and Andrea’s story… from my point of view of course. 

The last post could technically be part one. So this is part two.

January 23rd.  Day after my birthday.  It’s late.  I had just gotten home from being arrested for my 2nd DUI.  I wasn’t really home, because 10 days previous I had been evicted, among other things.  My dad was staying at an extended stay hotel, instead of crashing in a bathroom again, I went to his hotel and crashed on a couch.  His laptop was out, so I got on and logged on to Myspace. (remember that?) 

I saw that Andrea was online.  Previously we had never spoken on Myspace.  Just at the bar, (and that one time at Church)  I messaged her.  I said, “Man you’re up late.” or something like that. 

She replied rather quickly, and that was awesome.  So it began.  We became friends.  We continued to talk, where she informed me that she was supposed to be at my surprise birthday party, but it got called off because I was in jail.  (*sigh*).  So, I immediately began to message her every day.  I remember I went over to her apartment one night for a movie/pajama night.  I don’t remember how that night went, and if I remember quickly, she had another boy over.  (Though I could be completely wrong)  I think we watched “Dazed and Confused”. 

The innocent talking went on for a week or so.  At this point, I had moved into a house with my dad and my brother.  It was close enough to a steakhouse that I could walk, so I got a job there.  Originally serving tables, but with the second DUI, I was unable to serve, so I moved to the kitchen.  Before I left for work one morning, I asked Andrea if she wanted to come out and celebrate my sister’s birthday.  It was February 2nd.  That night, we went out, and I had a few drinks.  I also, at this point had been clean off of drugs for a little under a month.  I was shakey, so the only way to calm the nerves was alcohol. 

That night was Karaoke night at a local bar.  We were all singing and having a good time.  All of her friends were up on stage singing, “Goodbye Earl”, we were talking and she leaned in and kissed me.  (To this day, she’ll tell you I kissed her. That’s a lie.)  She immediately looked deeply in to my eyes, and gently said, “If you tell ANYONE that just happened, I’ll kill you.”  (How romantic)  So, when “Goodbye Earl” was over, I ran to her friends and said, “I JUST MADE OUT WITH ANDREA.”   yah.  didn’t go over well. 

That night she dropped me off at my house, got out of the car, and we walked to my door.  To say it was awkward would be an understatement.  I went to hug her goodbye and went in for the kiss.  First, I kissed her nose completely on accident.  I figured, oh well, that was completely accidental.  So, I tried again.  She pulled her head away and smiled… at this point, my eyes are closed, and I’m essentially licking her teeth.  She laughed it off, and said she’d call me later.

I went inside feeling like a complete jackass, honestly thinking I’d never have a chance with her again.

So that was the story of our first kiss.  I have WAY more stories to go.  Join me as I remember our story.

Wow.  I found this in my draft folder… Honestly, don’t remember writing it, but apparently I wrote it a while ago.  Looks like I may have been thinking about adding references.  I’m not.

Dear American Christians,

Don’t look so surprised, we both knew this has been coming for sometime now.  First, I want to say, it’s not you, it’s us (Meaning me too).  For a long time, I’ve been underwhelmed by the action of people.  We are so interested in forwarding e-mails.  Saying which administration did what, proving out our leftist conspiracies, and our right wing jibber jabber.  We’ve been consumed.

While you send out that e-mail about what the Bush administration failed to do, 6 people died a poverty related death*.   While you forward that e-mail about Barack Obama’s birth certificate, 6 more people died.  While you spend ten minutes arguing with your friend about what the church really needs, 60 people died.  While you spent 20 minutes talking about what that other church is doing, 120 people died. 

If the healthcare bill gets passed, people die.  If the heathcare bill does not get passed, people die. 

What’s sad is, while we’re talking about our God, and how great he is, and what he commands, people are dying asking, “How could God?” or “How can there be a God.”

And we’re arguing over tax dollars.

I’ll take you back a few years. 

I had been up all night with a friend.  I had been tweaking out, and hadn’t slept in about 4 days.  It got to be about 8:30 or 9:00.  My friend said, “Oh man, I gotta go to church!”  Wow.  What should I do?  I guess I could go with, I mean.. I don’t want her to have to drive me all the way back to my house. 

“Ok, I can tag along.” 

She went to get ready for church… I paced back and forth in the kitchen for a while, and then busted out my stash.  I did enough to ‘get me through the morning.’  As we approached the church, I got a little nervous, but comforted myself that I could blend in without being noticed.  When we got there, she was pretty talkative, and introduced me to several people.  They were all pretty nice, but I could tell they didn’t quite know what to make of me. (At that time, I was 100 pounds or so.) 

Once the gathering slowed down a bit, she grabbed me and said, “Come on, we’re going to see my friend.”  Of coarse I followed.  I sure as hell didn’t want to be left alone.  We walked through some hall ways into an office area.  Around the corner, there she was.  A young lady, whom I had seen before, at the bar.  Black hair, a smile that made me hurt, a style of clothing that made me happy and a slightly weird look… something like, “Why the hell did you bring this dope fiend here?” 

She was nice enough to me.  We didn’t talk long.  We never had before either, just the friendly cordials as I was pouring her a drink, or knocking a few drinks off her bill.  We went back out to where service was about to start.  I’ll be honest.  I don’t remember much about the sermon.  But I remember that painful smile, and that black hair like it was yesterday.  It was the first time I had seen a person from the bar in ‘the wild’.

That day, I realized there were some people who could live life normally.  That day, I began to starve for a ‘normal life’ out side of the bar fights, alcohol, and drugs.  That day, an angel was introduced to me.  I didn’t even realize it. 

Had  I known, at that moment, that the woman sitting in that office, with the smile that made me hurt, would one day be my wife and the mother of my child, I would have stopped getting messed up right then.  I would have laid it all down.  But, that’s the day it started.  The hunger.  The drive.  The want.  The tiredness of my life hit me, the moment I saw that beautiful smile, outside of the bar.  I realized life was bigger than karaoke night and Jager bombs. 

I didn’t return to that church for close to a year.  But when I did, it was a home coming.   I am so glad God brought me to where I am today.