4 weeks ago, I almost wrote a post about our Father’s love.  I was gonna write about how I know I could never wrap my head around His love, but how I thought I pretty much got the idea.

I’m not going to write that now.  When I saw Gemma for the first time… I can’t even describe the feeling.  Still, to this day, every time I look at Gemma, my eyes swell up, and I can’t believe how much I love that little girl.  It’s the most surreal feeling I’ve ever felt in my entire life!

Two days after Gemma was born, a doctor came in and asked us if they could give her a lumbar puncture to test for meningitis.  That hurt like I can’t even describe.  Parents out there, I am sure understand the feeling.  I got to thinking about it, and I realized…. God gave His only son for us.  Not to get a lumbar puncture, but to be beaten, spit on, stabbed, and then nailed to a cross!!!

I can honestly say, I don’t think I could do that.  Heck, I could hardly approve a lumbar puncture, which would make sure she was healthy!

I’m writing this to say… I was wrong.  I cannot, and will never be able to understand God’s love.  There was a minute where I thought I may be able to wrap my head around it.  I can’t.  What an amazing week!  What an amazing God!

Gemma was born October 7th at 7:44 am.  She weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 inches long.  She’s beautiful, and perfect in every way.

When Gemma was born, mama bear (Andrea) and Gemma had a slight fever.  Nothing insane.  Since then, they’ve been running blood screens on Gemma.

Her CRP count has been exceedingly high.  A normal CRP count for a new born is 0.9.  Gemma’s on Thursday was 9.6 and on Friday had spiked to 11.6.  This means that Gemma’s body is fighting off an infection.  The doctors can’t seem to pinpoint where.   On Friday, a Neonatal specialist came in and said that he needed to make sure that Gemma’s infection was not in her brain, (Meningitis) by doing a lumbar puncture, which is a spinal tap but needed our approval to do so.  Ouch.  This parenthood thing is TOUGH!!  Andrea and I discussed it and decided that we really had no choice.  It’s hard to say, “OK… you can stick a needle in our baby’s back.”.

The results came back negative, PRAISE GOD! We thought that was great news.  We thought that meant that there wasn’t an infection.  Yesterday they told us there still was an infection and little baby Gemma had to stay at the hospital until they A) found the infection or B) she’s completed a full round of antibiotics, which could take 7-10 days.

Gemma is currently in level 2 of NICU.  Level 2, I think means pretty much she is NOT in critical condition.  Andrea and I are the only two allowed to visit her, and have to literally scrub in, and put on gowns to see her.  It’s so surreal.  This is not anything I ever imagined our first baby’s birth would be like!

We spoke with her pediatrician last night and we got more information than anyone at the hospital could give us.  Worst case scenario Gemma will be in the hospital until next Sunday if the antibiotics she is on now work.
If her blood work comes back improved today, like a CRP level of 9, and then even more improved tomorrow, there is a chance we will be able to take Gemma home and give her the love and care she needs, and get the rest of her antibiotics either by a nurse that comes to our home, or by taking her to out pediatrician.  That is what we are praying for today.  I would love it if you prayed with us!

We’re praying for wisdom for the doctors treating her.  We are praying that she is touched with God’s healing hand, and that her body is able to fight this infection (wherever it is, most likely in the blood).  We are praying for strength, courage and wisdom ourselves to understand what is happening.  We are both new to this parenthood thing, and we HATE seeing poor Gemma have to go through all of this.  If you could pray with us, that would be great!

For right now, we are in a hotel by the hospital, so we can feed Gemma and be close to her.   Andrea and I are working in shifts during the night, so we can each try to get a little bit more than 1.5 hours of sleep at a time.

I know that this could all be going way worse, but now I understand when parents talk about their child hurting.  It sucks bad.

I will continue to update this site with any news and I’m even trying to make a page for pictures.