I was recently talking to a friend/the guy I was kinda named after/my mom’s friend from high school in Kuwait.  We were talking about how she was, and her addictions.

It was a really great conversation.  It helped me remember my “real mom”.  I got the opportunity to weed through my memories, and recall what she was like sober.  And you know what….. she was a good mom.  It’s hard to think that drugs of some sort controlled her for a good part of her life.  It is nice to look back at the memories of her, and remember the times she was clean, and the unmistakable love she had for all of her children.

My mom died this day 4 years ago.  The last words I said to my mother weren’t nice.  As a matter of fact, they were probably some of the most hurtful words I’ve ever said.  But, I can live knowing that she did know I love her and know that she loves me.  The hurt is still with me, but a rejoice to know that she isn’t in pain.  She isn’t suffering from addiction anymore, and that she is again, my real mom.  I know she loves me, and that feels good.

Mom, I love you.