Seperation Anxiety.

Maybe I have that.  Or maybe I have non-seperation anxiety.

I am going through one of my phases where I’m realizing just how jacked up the institutionalized church really is.  I read things about ‘church’ and I just can’t believe it.  I lose confidence in churches.  I get VERY cynical about church.  (just ask my wife or father-in-law).  I get so upset sometimes that I can’t even read something good a church does and say, “Oh. Good for them.”  I immediately jump to the negative.

My problem here lately, is I’ve been forgetting to separate the ‘church’ and God.  I keep putting Jesus in this little box.  (With a steeple, some pews, one guy talking, and several hundred listening and taking notes.)  It’s so easy for me to do.  I forget to look at the clouds and marvel in the sheer beauty.  I forget to look at the lake outside of my apartment and watch the water move.  I forget to look at the little gooslings follow their parents around in the spring.  I forget.  I forget to look inside my wife’s belly, and watch that mini-me grow.  In this magnificant time in my life, I’m too busy being pissed off to sit back and enjoy the wonderful beauty of life.

My prayer today is to remove God from the little box.  I want to allow Him in all aspects of my life.  And I want to just… apologize for putting You in that box in the first place. I want to look at all of the small wonders I see on a daily basis and be wow’d.  I want to realize how crazy it is to open this laptop up, and connect to the world.  I want to look at my pregnant wife, and be awed by the fact that she is growing a little person.  I want to open my eyes.  God. I want you to open my eyes.   That’s my prayer for today.  Help me Seperate, help me open my eyes and God, help me see.