shhhh.

So, last Monday I made my quit date the 24th.  I’m not quite sure why.  Anyway, Today is the 23rd, and I’m quitting smoking.  Honestly, I will need all the prayers I can get.  From everything I’ve ever quit, smoking is by far the most difficult.

I’ll try to keep everyone up to date, even if I stumble.  But, as of right now, just a few prayers here and there, or whenever you have time would be great.

Thanks.

So, I’ve been fumbling over this for quite some time.  Without mentioning what part is tripping me up, or mentioning what parts confuse me.  I want your help.  I want you to tell me what this means to you, and why.  It seems easy, so read it two or three times, and pray.  I think it will kick you in the teeth.  Please. Comment away.

1 SO SIX days before the Passover Feast, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, who had died and whom He had raised from the dead. 2 So they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was one of those at the table with Him. 3 Mary took a pound of ointment of pure liquid nard [a rare perfume] that was very expensive, and she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. And the whole house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 4 But Judas Iscariot, the one of His disciples who was about to betray Him, said, 5 Why was this perfume not sold for 300 denarii [a year’s wages for an ordinary workman] and that [money] given to the poor (the destitute)? 6 Now he did not say this because he cared for the poor but because he was a thief; and having the bag (the money box, the purse of the Twelve), he took for himself what was put into it [pilfering the collections]. 7 But Jesus said, Let her alone. It was [intended] that she should keep it for the time of My preparation for burial. [She has kept it that she might have it for the time of My embalming.] 8 You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me.

Thoughts?

It was like any other Saturday morning.  I was awake, watching Dennis the Menace. (The one with real actors, in black and white)  Both of my sisters were sitting there and we were eating popsicles, the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast.  My brother was running around being my brother.

I think it was a commercial break, my brother came running in with his Popsicle, and sat down next to me.  He was really quiet.  About ten minutes later, the smoke detector went off.  I jumped up.  I ran in to my parents room.  They were still asleep, looking back, obviously they were out cold from their night of extensive drug use.  I looked towards their bathroom, and saw smoke pouring out of the closet.  I turned around, and saw both of my sisters kind of wandering around wondering what to do.  I told both of them to get outside, where my brother had already gone.

I ran back into my parents bedroom and woke them up.  It took about five minutes.  My dad jumped up, grabbed the fire extinguisher and ran towards the closet.  He let that closet have everything he had.  I am pretty sure the fire was out.  Then I heard something like an explosion.  My dad told me later that his match collection couldn’t stand the heat and they all went up in flames.  (There were a lot of matches.)  Shortly after that, my dad came running out of the closet.  Right then I heard our fourth of July surprise.  My dad had traveled to buy us fireworks.  A lot of them.  He wanted us to have a fun 4th.

At this I realized that the fire was not going out.  So I ran downstairs, woke up our babysitter, and got my dog, Bandit.  I ran outside and tried to wave down a passing airplane.  I don’t know where I got the idea that an airplane would save us, but, it seemed logical at the time.  I guess I should say, the airplane didn’t save us.  I did notice however that my parents were not out of the house.

I ran back into the house.  My dad was in his room.  I don’t know what he was doing to this day, but I think just trying to get stuff that he knew we would need.  My mom was on the phone in the dining room.  It was so hot at this point that when I went to get my mom, the phone was actually melting in her hand.  I looked over at our ‘study area’.  Where my dad kept all of his exotic pets and fish tanks, and all of the water was boiling.  I knew we had a problem.  So, as fast as I could, I ran downstairs and grabbed my Teddy Rupskin.  There were a lot of things I could do without, but I didn’t think I could do without that.  When I came back upstairs, I grabbed my mom’s hand, and pulled her outside.  My dad followed right behind us.

A little while later I was talking to one of the firemen, and my brother walked up and handed him a lighter with three simple words.  “I did it.”  My 3 year old brother was playing with a lighter.  He burnt his toe and got scared.  He couldn’t blow the fire out so he ran in to the living room and sat down.  He took the lighter from the top of my mom’s cigarettes.  She slept right through it.

That day sticks in my head like you wouldn’t believe.  That day signifies the beginning of our house hopping.  Eviction to eviction.  That day was the beginning of a hard life.  That day, looking back showed me how much I love my family.  Certainly I was no hero, but at my age, to be running back into a burning house for my mom and dad, (And teddy rupskin) wasn’t an easy thing to do.

It’s crazy thinking of that day, and everything that has happened since.  I don’t know how to end story telling.  I don’t have a moral, besides, don’t play with fire.  I don’t have a happy ending to that day.  I can’t even tell you that my mom fired that babysitter. I can just tell you 20 years after a house fire, it still runs through my head like it was yesterday. I can tell you that some 20 years later, I’ve found my way.  20 years later, it is just something that has made me and my family stronger.  20 years later.  Wow.

February 24th is my officlal quit date.  What is that you ask?  February 24th is the day I quit smoking.  I have started taking Chantix, and last time it worked like a charm. (for about 3 months)  This is something I’ve been talking about for a long time now, and now, more than ever there is reason to quit.

Why am I writing about it here?  Because, there is some sort of accountability here.  I fully expect anyone who reads this to kick me in my butt after the 24th, if they see me smoking a cigarette.  (You won’t, but I expect it)   Also, I would really appreciate prayers.  Lots of them.  In my life, I have quit using Meth and Cocaine, cold turkey.  I have quit drinking, without any supplement, (And only a few relapses.)  But above all of that, cigarettes is by far the hardest thing to quit.  So any prayers are more than welcome.

So.. there you have it, one week from today I will be smoke free.  Praise God.