Homecoming

Last night I taught youth group for the first time in about a year.  A year ago, Andrea and I “took a break”.  Probably had something to do with me deciding I was not an alcoholic, so I could drink when I wanted, and Andrea had some personal things she had to take care of.  It happens.  During the time we were broken up, I struggled.  I struggled a lot.

Through some major relapses, some bad decisions and crazy thoughts, I decided that I probably shouldn’t be talking to teenagers on how they should follow Christ.  It was hard for me to talk about that because I wasn’t following Him.  I think everyone had decided I shouldn’t talk anymore before I did.  Which is fine.  I shouldn’t have been talking.

Last night was amazing.  I think it was the first time in a long time, if not ever, that I felt I did a good job.  I was not nervous, I don’t feel like I just talked and talked for no reason, and I had a chance to share one of my (many) stories.  I think the kids received me well, and really listened to what I had to say.  Or, what God had to say through me.  Possibly ironic I was talking about the Prodigal Son.  I look at it as a blessing.  After being a prodigal son myself, I was able to come home and say, “I just want to be your servant.”  After being the older brother, I was able to realize, whatever he has to offer is mine, and there is NO reason to be angry or resentful.

I don’t know if I reached anyone, or hit a nerve in someone deep down that broke a silent treatment they were giving God.  But I do know last night was probably better for me than any of them.  I got a sense of life back.  I realized last night that I am not ‘back’.  But now, I am here more than ever.  God has really shined down on my life in the past 7 or 8 months, and I feel like a bazillion bucks.

To top it off, I want to say, I love my youth group.  These kids are amazing, Andrea is great with them, George, my roommate/friend/pastor at my wedding is awesome with them and I feel good about where we are heading.

In this time where nothing is certain with the state of our church building, I feel a HUGE community of love and faith.  It all makes sense now.  No walls could contain our love.  No walls can contain our worship.  No walls can/or should contain the Body of Christ.  It’s an amazing feeling.  The feeling of going from being broken, beaten, defeated, and torn, to restored, free, loved, and redeemed!

Thank you Jesus!