What a Day!

So, I get to work this morning, and all hell has broken loose.  Seriously.  I’m thinking, ah,  this will take a few hours to work, as I timidly dial Microsoft up. (It’s free support when their updates crash you)  I knew it was going to be a task to get anything done, I had NO CLUE what I was getting into.

As 4:00 rolled around, I had to go.  I do have other stuff going on you know.  It’s insane.  At least 5.5 hours on the phone.  Arguing, losing my temper, cursing, everything I really try not to do.  I did.

When I got home again, I hopped back on our server, and fixed everything Microsoft did wrong to fix the initial problem.  Something about that doesn’t seem right, but, hey, it’s Microsoft, if I complain too much, there might be a sniper after me.  But I digress.  Long story short, everything is at least temporarily fixed.

After I finished all of this, I was thinking.  Why do I still have the urge to do all of these things?  Curse, Yell, argue?  I do honestly try to live everyday for God.  I guess what it comes down to is the dying daily thing.  I guess that is something I struggle with.  Dying daily, to me, sounds a lot like being humble.  Not exactly my strong suit.  Admitting I am weak?  That’s not my bag, baby!  I guess, there is nothing appealing about it at all.

I have to remind myself that I don’t get saved, and that’s it.  It takes work, like anything beautiful.  Why is it so easy to say, but so hard to live out in the moment?  When the real tests come, I fail.  Well, at least 50/50, but I’d wager more.  Why is it so hard to die?  Weird question?

What are your thoughts?  What do you have a hard time with?  Any advice?  I’m all ears.